| best (worst) question |
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| 12:25pm 07/03/2008 |
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mood:  optimistic
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So I'm planning a trip to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday. We're planning to go to the Grand Canyon. I'm reading up on everything the National Park Service has on the park, and ran across this gem of a question on the Directions page:
Q: "Why is [Grand Canyon National Park] separated into South and North Rims?"
A: "There's a canyon in the middle of it." |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| in my mailbox |
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| 10:47pm 03/01/2008 |
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This was in my mailbox, sent by my condo association:
Corrected Minutes For November 19, 2007
We are sending you a copy of the corrected minutes for the meeting on November 19th. There was some confusing on the original format.
*hangs head in shame* |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| on television |
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| 08:26pm 03/01/2008 |
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Andrew Zimmern makes me embarrassed for television.
P.S. Apparently I still have a LiveJournal. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| OK, then I'll type them up |
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| 09:45pm 28/08/2007 |
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Edit 2007.09.05 09:08:42 -- Huzzah! T3h goggel has found this writeup, and it enabled a like-minded soul to find my transcription! Said soul was kind enough to share two suggestions for improvement. I have adopted one of them. In the interest full disclosure, I'm going to highlight words I consider to be interesting or contestable, and make details available if you hover (hover over this text if you don't know what I mean).
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ironchefrocks showed me this wonder of the yotuves:
I wanted to read it, so I used t3h goggel, and found only somebody's blog entry wherein they note that they hadn't been able to find the whole thing either:
http://gwazdor.blogspot.com/2007_04_01_archive.html
So! I do it me'se'f. If this isn't a good use for a blog, I don't know what is.
*beep!*
This is a recorded analytic program readout to be utilized by engineering personnel exclusively.
*beep!*
We will start with a physical description of the external components. All ready? Let us begin.
*beep!*
At the upper right of the modular system console you will note the longitudinally polarized antenna resulting in a completely unitized composite sheath. This unique design is virtually indestructible, and is, of course, guaranteed for the life of the unit. The longitudinally polarized antenna functions primarily as an attenuated parametric selector for the recycling binary alternator.
*beep!*
There is an alarm system located next to the antenna which rings if any portion of this machine is damaged. *bell* If this alarm rings, the only way it can be silenced is by locating the origin of the malfunction.
*beep!*
Now, immediately adjacent to the alarm is the digital iambic generator. This is probably the most valuable component in the entire system and, as such, it should be handled with extreme care. If you were to look inside this unit you would find a string of delicately balanced H-14 analog capacitators. It takes over 185 man-hours to produce a capacitator because each one must be painstakingly assembled with a 301 electromicrometer. These capacitators are connected into the dual exhaust intake valve.
*beep!*
The quantum polarization of the energy transfer involved herein results in the emission of a small amount of gaseous methane. Which is [laughing... can't hear] through the exhaust manifold. A mere two dVs of this gas are enough to kill an elephant, so extreme precaution should be taken before disengaging any part of this component.
*beep!*
If for any reason this unit is tampered with the 90-day warranty on the system is invalidated.... system is invalidated.... system is invalidated... system is in validated.... 'xiliary coordinates.
*beep!*
Now over on top of the intercellular power generator you will see a spherical voltage oblongata. It should be noted that this is a rather expensive piece of equipment. Replacement costs range in the area of two to three thousand dollars each.
*beep!*
The Gandalf pentometer on the left-hand side of the unit is also extremely expensive because it contains a 17-jewel movement of chromatic titanium.
*beep!*
By way of contrast, the Doppler-sublimated magneto located on the front of the generator can be purchased in any hardware store for about thirty-seven cents.
*beep!*
The intercellular power generator itself is filled with a series of manxome coils attenuated dicotyledonously.
*beep!*
In this same circuit there is an intaglio of numismatic krypton wavelengths which abrogate the hydromatic mome raths at the rate of five ventricle icons per micro-cantabile. The electromagnetic
*beep!*
console in this same area is synchronized to a pragmatic signal compiler by means of a sonar metabolic transducer for maximum data existentialization.
*beep!*
Finally, it is important that the variable-speed impedance reactor have a five-bar lead into the solid-state, hydrogenous declension. In conclusion, no matter how much [laughing... can't hear] try to destroy the components, nothing can keep this machine from performing its primary function, which is to be the most powerful exploding device known to man.
I heart Jim Henson. If you can hear something I can't or you think I got part of it wrong/imperfect, please holla. I believe this will soon become the Internets' most definitive transcript of this particular bit of muppetry. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland - 2007.05.05-07 |
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| 08:28am 09/05/2007 |
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mood:  accomplished music: Queen - Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy
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Another trip down, and more items marked off some of my life's checklists (photographing state welcome signs, and visiting all 50 state capitols)! Naturally, I've got pictures!
Laura and I enjoyed our $25 flight from Chicago to Philadelphia Saturday morning. We headed in to Philly to try to see some sights (Liberty Bell, Independence Hall), but found that there was a parade going on and the city was a mess. Optimism intact, we left for Trenton. We passed signs for Sesame Place along the way, and couldn't resist having a look. When we learned that it would be $15 just to *park* there, we turned around and resumed our course. We got to the New Jersey capitol and took some pictures of the lovely grounds. On to Harrisburg ... but on the way we found ourselves too close to Hershey not to stop. A quick stop for a tour of Hershey's Chocolate World (it was opening day, so it was a bit busy) is all we needed. We got to Harrisburg and took lots of pictures of the beautiful, green-domed capitol building there. We started driving east, and decided to crash in Exton, Pennsylvania, feeling like the first fourteen hours of the trip were productive enough.
Day two! We hit the capitol in Annapolis during what seemed like Naval Academy Graduation day ... the city was pretty freakin' busy. We left without buying necessary souvenirs for the sake of saving our sanity. On to Dover, Delaware! Laura's had nothing but bad experiences in Delaware, so we were both eager to make this our last visit to The First State. For sake of both our personal checklists that meant we needed to get a "Welcome To..." sign, buy me a shot glass, get post cards for each of us, and photograph the capitol (the fact that there are no National Parks Service sites in Delaware made the trip easier). It was a bit of a labor to find post cards, but we found exactly eleven of them at the Dover Downs Casino, Racetrack, Hotel, and Casino, and they sold me a shot glass, too! Eleven is less than the 38-or-so post cards she and I usually need, but we called it good. We got out of Delaware in a hurry, and headed toward Atlantic City. We made it as far as Egg Harbor City, New Jersey before we decided to stop. Conveniently, there was a diner just down the road, and we had a wonderful diner dinner, the likes of which one cannot easily find in the midwest.
Day three! In to Atlantic City in the morning for a quick stroll on the boardwalk, and some souvenir purchases. A quick jaunt up the GSP to NJ route 72 to the lovely town of Ship Bottom gave us some time for two lost east-coasters to get back in touch with the ocean we miss so much. We got back to Philly early enough to drive around to find a cheesesteak, but didn't find any, so we left! Or so we thought. The plane was pretty darned late in departing, but such is life!
As usual, not bad for a long weekend!
    
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Read 4 - Post |
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| DONE |
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| 07:39pm 25/04/2007 |
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mood: accomplished music: Colbert Report theme music
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I am officially done with my associates degree, and officially done with college until September.
This. Is. Good. |
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Read 22 - Post |
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| I learnt |
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| 03:54pm 12/04/2007 |
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I learned in my Sociology class that, in Christian theology, "Jesus" is the term for stick-guy before he's dead and "Christ" is the name for him after he's not dead anymore. That's the first thing I've learned about Christianity since someone told me what a crèche was a few years ago.
TMYK! |
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Read 10 - Post |
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| it's cold here |
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| 06:01pm 31/01/2007 |
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It's a breezy 13°F here now. This coming Saturday through Tuesday it won't get above 12°F (that's -11°C for those of you following along from sensible countries). |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| thanks, power outage |
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| 10:21pm 15/01/2007 |
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so I had a blackout
I mean my house did
and my tivo
was recording
and I was hoping it wasn't during anything improtet
but in fact
(in fact!)
here's how it went
*fighter pilots trying to stay alive*
admiral: "everyone pull out now"
guy pilot: "OK, admiral says we're leaving"
girl pilot: "god damn it I'm not going to fail again"
*girl pilot acts frantically to try to not fail before pull out, or perhaps will stay beyond pull out to prove to herself that she can do it*
(and we know she's contemplating suicide anyway, and has already had an overdose of radiation that she is concealing so she could fly another mission)
guy pilot: all right here we go
guy pilot: three
guy pilot: two
tivo: bleep
p.s. the show is battleship galactose which everyone has said I should watch. it's pretty good I guess. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| remembering President Gerald R. Ford |
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| 06:12pm 03/01/2007 |
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mood:  somber
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Last night I made a pilgrimage to Grand Rapids, Michigan to view the coffin of our nation's 38th President in state at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum. The experience was quite surreal.
ratio of neckties to "MICHIGAN" sweatshirts: 0.004
ratio of legwear other than jeans to jeans: 0.022
ratio of people not crying to crying: ∞
The atmosphere was virtually never somber. Families and friends spent their four to eight hours in line singing, talking, listening to music, and playing games. The only place there was anything like quiet or respect in the air was within 10 yards of the casket.
It was a very "come as you are" type of environment, which is appropriate for this part of the country.
There was a significant "cutting" problem in the line.
Living in Grand Rapids can probably get boring, so I don't blame the townspeople for wanting a piece of the biggest thing to hit their town since Ford ascended to the Presidency.
The group present were very representative of southwest Michigan, of Michigan in general, and of the Midwest -- with the significant exception of a marked underrepresentation of the Black and Hispanic communities. The attendees were very, very white.
The line for the viewing was long. I laid out the path on a satellite image, and my ballpark estimate of the line's length falls between 1.5 and 2 miles. Have a look; clicky for biggy:
I joined the line at 11:30 P.M. and was finished around 04:00 A.M.
Thank you, Mr. President, for your service to our state and nation. May you rest in peace. |
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bored
good
happy
weird
excited
